Dad Interviews Dad Series – MadDadSkillz
Since becoming a father, I have been able to relate to my own dad in a different way than before. Instead of the usual Father-Son dynamic there is now an element of Dad-to-Dad understanding, a shared experience.
As a Dadblogger I enjoy commenting on and analysing my own parenting style but I haven’t previously spotlighted the parenting I received. I thought this might the case for other Dadbloggers too.
So, in celebration of Fathers Day 2017, I asked some of the top Dadbloggers in the UK & USA to sit down with their own fathers and see how, or if, parenting has changed much in a generation. I sent them a list of suggested questions and then let conversation flow from there.
A different interview from a different blogger will be released each day this week on MadDadSkillz.com
Dad Blogger Two – Grant Robson
This Dad Interviews Dad segment features Grant. Grant is a man of many names (Dad, Grant Robson, DJ McSleazy) and many interests: music, food, parenting, you name it and you can find it on Lookingforthepostman.com. He is a dad of four and author of one of the best books on fatherhood that I have read (check out Guides to Impending First Time Dadhood). He walks you through all the salient points from pregnancy to toddling in a swift, honest and informative way.
I hope you don’t mind me sharing the personal note you added to this Grant, but I feel it really summed up the point of these interviews:
“These questions were interesting because it brought up things that I’d never discussed with my Dad before. The answers entertained, and moved me. Thanks for doing this. It made me learn about things that I would not have otherwise known.”
It has been an ongoing theme in these interviews that we sons, regardless of how old we are, still have connections to make and maintain with our parents. I only have one job, one blog, and two kids and struggle to find time in my day to give some relationships the time they need. Grant literally has twice as much of everything on his plate so I’m delighted he was able to make time for this interview.
Grant & Dad
Grant’s Dad: “I have tried to answer these as truthful as I can, some of them took some soul searching others were easy taking into considerations the constraints of memory and time.”
1) How do you remember feeling when you found out you were going to be a Father?
Elated, surprised, and slightly concerned.
2) What is your favourite story about me as a kid?
I was in the habit of saying “Oh shit” and you started saying it, so we explained that that was Daddy’s swear word and that you should have your own, so you picked on “spotty spider”. One day, at your grandparents’ house you tripped over and said:
“OH shit… I’ve forgotten my word”
Knowing my parents, you could imagine the look on their faces.
3) Which phase of parenting have you found most enjoyable and conversely, which was hardest?
Most enjoyable was the pleasure of coming home to you and the times we spent together.
Hardest is that we seem to have drifted apart caused by distance.
4) What has been the most challenging aspect of being a Father.
Patience. Realising that your children are not an extension of you and allowing them to develop in their own way.
5) Do you think you changed when you became a Father?
There is a change of priorities, that causes you to think less of yourself and more of the family. I think I managed that. I think it affects the Mother more.
6) How do you think parenting has changed between my day and yours?
The basic content of parenting has not changed in thousands of years, we are still basically hunter gatherers. It is probably harder now because of expectations and financial constraints.
7) How do you think we differ as Dads?
As we have lived at a distance for so long this is difficult to answer. I think because of my personality I was a bit more relaxed than you, also because of the problems you have faced you have had a lot more on your plate than I ever had.
8) What is the most important thing a Father can give a Child?
A grounding in morals, an appreciation of others, and to allow the child to develop as an individual, not just to listen but to hear, give them time, and to allow them to develop their own opinions.
9) Is there anything you would go back and change about your parenting style?
Never look back with regret, look forward with hope.
Grant and Grant’s Dad, thank you very much for taking part. I’m glad you were both able to connect over this. I’ll be honest I think there is a future in the blogging world for your Dad, he has some wise words!